Emmanuel's Story
When you meet Emmanuel it is hard to believe what he has been through. He is a handsome young man, always wearing his work uniform. He is easy-going and very quick to smile, but his life was not always like this.
When he was only 12 years old he came into possession of his first gun. “I had to have it to protect myself. Before that my older cousins always protected me because they had guns, but it was time. I needed my own.” The next year, in 2001, Emmanuel lost a 12-year-old cousin to gang violence. “That’s just the way it is. I was working to earn my rep on the street. To make a name for myself, that’s all we had.” In the following years, the ones that most of us think of as our childhood, Emmanuel lost 21 friends--many of whom were his cousins, and all of whom were under 18 years old--to gang violence. Emmanuel had every reason to believe that he would die a violent death while he was young somewhere on the streets of his neighborhood.
When Emmanuel first came to First Place he was on probation and living in a group home in Oakland, which was quite some distance from where he started. “They had to place me far away because there were just too many people involved. It wasn’t safe for me to stay in that town.” At first, Emmanuel felt isolated, but then things started to change. “Group homes made me stronger in some ways, but First Place helped me think about the future.” Emmanuel participated in the Lifestyles of the Reel World project at First Place. It was the first time he had a chance to really express the life he is looking forward to, his very own future. “I want joy in my life. I want to live today.” Emmanuel created a beautiful presentation to show how he views himself, and how he thinks about his future. (INSERT LINK TO REEL WORLD PRESENTATION)
Emmanuel always loved rapping. “Rapping has been my passion since I was young. I love to express myself. It is a way to be free.” He performed at the First Place Annual BBQ and won Third Place in the talent show. He recalls, “It was kinda hard--not cussing--but I know that I have to express myself so that I can be heard, and once I got into it I was okay. I had a good time, and was glad to get to be there.” In order to be there, Emmanuel had to miss yet another funeral. This time, the funeral of his 16-year-old cousin to gang violence in the community he left behind when he entered his current group home. “I can’t go back because I won’t ever leave,” he said about attending the funeral. “They want me to come back. I think that’s why they did it. If I go back, I’ll just get back in or get killed.” He was thoughtful for a few minutes, and then said, “I can’t go back. I have so much I want to do. I want to go to college in the fall. Maybe study engineering or spanish or business or music. I need to keep my options open because there are so many things I could do.”
It is difficult to imagine how anyone as young as Emmanuel could have the strength and courage to overcome the violence he has endured, but to do so with such hopefulness is truly inspiring. Beyond this inspiration is the true victory, he wants to help other folks get closer to their goals and see their future as well. Emmanuel is well on his way to moving into an apartment in the My First Place program, and is consistently willing to help out in any way. He will be mentoring other First Place clients in the next Reel World workshop.